


Without Knowing How

by fallovermelikestars



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, MWPP Era, marauder era writing prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:58:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2236560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallovermelikestars/pseuds/fallovermelikestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not like it’s a thing that happened suddenly, all at once, like a lightening bolt or a dose of amortentia. It would be easier, he thinks, if it had been; if he could just stick a pin in the map of his life and say ‘there, that second right there. That’s when I fell in love with Sirius Black.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Knowing How

**Author's Note:**

> Just a tiny little ficlet originally posted to my [tumblr](http://fallovermelikestars.tumblr.com/) for the latest [Marauder Era Writing](http://maraudererawriting.tumblr.com/post/96193636102/maraudererawriting-prompt-write-about-your) prompt because someone says 'love' and I say 'these pups' and my heart goes all flaily <3  
> Hasn't been beta read because I wrote it quickly on my phone so if you spot any mistake I apologise. Ignore them ;)

He doesn’t want it to be the most defining thing about him, but he wonders sometimes if it is.

He, Remus J Lupin, is in love.

It’s not like it’s a thing that happened suddenly, all at once, like a lightening bolt or a dose of amortentia. It would be easier, he thinks, if it had been; if he could just stick a pin in the map of his life and say ‘there, that second right there. That’s when I fell in love with Sirius Black.’

Nothing is ever that simple, with Sirius.

And so Remus has no fucking clue how it happened except that from the day they met there had been notes hastily scribbled on parchment, and that twinkle in Sirius’s eyes. The way his hair fell over his eyes and that toss of his head or the way that when he laughed Remus could feel it right through to his bones.  
Sometimes their eyes would meet, across the table in the Great Hall or over Peter’s head in the Common Room and Sirius’s smile would soften a little and all Remus would be able to focus on would be how desperately he wanted to climb on him right there, press him into the floorboards and kiss the breath out of him.

Sirius called Remus his sanity, said he was like a firm hand around the ankle keeping him from floating away. Not the most romantic analogy Remus had ever heard but he was touched all the same, just like he was touched by the chocolate after the full moon, (or just on days ending in Y), and the way whenever McGonnagall caught them doing whatever it was they were doing but shouldn’t be, Sirius would always sigh heavily and declare: ‘it wasn’t Lupin. Not really.’

Not that McGonnagall ever bought it but it was sweet of Sirius to try.

So it had always been there, that need to always touch and be touched by Sirius, to hear his laugh or watch his brow furrow in thought or taste the stolen firewhiskey on his lips. He was always faintly aware of this need to shelter this cocky, wonderful, damaged, beautiful boy from the things the world might throw at him and to let Sirius protect him in return.

It was just a thing that was.  
Remus Lupin was a werewolf, and an excellent student and one quarter of the whole that was the bane of McGonnagall’s life.  
And he was hopelessly in love with Sirius Black.

And so that night when they lay side by side on the grass in the dark, when it was cloudy, not even a star to be seen and Remus had fuck all clue why they were even out there except that Sirius was pressed against him, shoulder to hip to waist to ankle, that night, when Sirius asked him what he was thinking, the only thing Remus could think of to answer with was the truth.

'I'm just wondering actually, exactly how long I've been in love with you.'

Sirius laughed and pressed impossibly closer, the shrug of his shoulder making Remus’s own shoulder shrug in harmony.

'Fucked if I know. But I'm glad that you are.'


End file.
